


shinee groupchat

by keiijji88



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:51:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7289257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiijji88/pseuds/keiijji88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically shinee have a groupchat and are just a bunch of memes?? crossposted from wattpad</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. un

**Author's Note:**

> im sigh

_taemin added jinki, jonghyun, kibum, and minho to the chat_

taemin: welcome to hell assholes

kibum: oh boy

jonghyun: you interrupted my game so this better be important

jonghyun: i was abt to get the high score :((

taemin: my bad lmao

taemin: but i was thinking that we could get closer as a group!!! this is a good method!!!

kibum: who told you that??

taemin: i read about it online ;););

jonghyun: sighs

kibum: tae, sweetheart, im literally sitting across from you

kibum: and so is jjong

taemin: that's not the point

taemin: where are the other hyungs??

jonghyun: i got this

jonghyun: FUCK SHIT ASS DAMN BITCH

jinki: LANGUAGE, MISTER.

jonghyun: there he is

taemin: k but what about minho hyung

kibum: minhoe's probably masturbating to sports games

minho: i heard that bitch

jonghyun: language, mister.

jinki: ^^

taemin: you all are ridiculous

kibum: ok nasty we're all here what do you want

taemin: we should have some group bonding time

taemin: ykno like hth

jonghyun: good idea!!! i can finally talk about how much i love you all (not)

taemin: thankyou for your support

jinki: i call not it

kibum: fUCK that was my line

minho: language, mister!!!!!!

kibum: LEAVE

taemin: useless, all of you

jonghyun: fuck if it makes you happy ill start

jonghyun: you all are wonderful group mates and idk what id do without you guys

jonghyun: yall r my family :') i love yall :',','))

jinki: we love you too!!!!!!!!!!!1!!

taemin: aw

taemin: see this is what i wanted!!! group bonding!!! imdead!!!!

minho: whata gr8 moment

kibum: ya sentimental hoes boutta make a bitch cry :,)

jonghyun: watch your fucking language, sir

minho: :,,,,,,) there it goes

jinki: yike

taemin: i can't have nice things can i


	2. deux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jinki needs to chill

_jonghyun, kibum, and taemin are online_

kibum: have any of you guys seen minho?

kibum: he's been gone for five hours

taemin: he's asserting his masculinity

kibum: why?

taemin: jinki hyung was laughing at him bc he couldn't open a jar of pickles lmao

jonghyun: honestly I doubt that jinki hyung could either idk why hes lauhgign

jonghyun: **luahgin

jonghyun: fuck my life

jonghyun: *****lahugni

jonghyun: FUCK

jonghyun: L A U G H I N G

kibum: tag yourself im lahugni

jonghyun: fuck you

taemin: language

_jinki is online_

taemin: hey hyung how's life?

jinki: i accidentally made minho cry

jinki: he's not talking to me :'(( i feel bad

kibum: hyung its your own fault for laughing at him!!!! you know how he gets

jinki: alfkKDK ITS NOT MY FAULT

jinki: YOU SHOULDVE SEEN HIS FACE

jonghyun: where are the receipts????

jinki: sweaty i didn't bother to take a pic i like living in the moment ok u kids are too tech-focused

jonghyun: woah now hyung don't go all savage on us, i don't think we could handle it!!!!!!

taemin: ok that sounds fake but ok

kibum: you should still check on him though

kibum: make sure he doesn't hurt himself

jinki: skfjfkkskddo ok hang on

_jinki is offline_

jonghyun: how would he hurt himself, exactly????

kibum: he would find a way i know him

_jinki is online_

_minho is online_

minho: I AM THE MANLIEST MAN AROUND HERE OK

kibum: here we go

minho: HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN MY BICEPS???

minho: THEYRE LIKE FUCKINNG GOD BICEPS

minho: GOD-CEPS

jinki: of course ive seen them idk what you're talking about mingo

jonghyun: MINGO

taemin: MINGO

jonghyun: HAHAHAHAHAHA HEY MINGO HOWYA DOING COMRADE

kibum: you guys are ridiculous

taemin: oh, hey there mingo!!! whata wonderful day we're having!!!!

jinki: i fucked up i f u cked up

minho: you know

minho: i get it. i rly do

minho: im all alone in this band

_minho left the chat_

jinki: :,(

taemin: **group

kibum: really??

jonghyun: well, we are technically a group not a band bc we don't play instruments instead we dance to music that we have recorded and sing to them while dancing and don't actually play instruments live (for the most part) which means we're not technically a band. so taemin's right

taemin: ^^

kibum: damn i never knew that thankyou

jinki: guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! we pissed off minho!!!!!!

jonghyun: oh who cares he'll come around

taemin: ^^

kibum: you just need to apologize, hyung

jinki: :(((((((  how though

kibum added minho to the chat

kibum: that's how

jinki: oh hEY THERE MINNIE

jinki: OUR WONDERFUL MINHO

jinki: THE MOST FLAMING OF THE CHARISMAS

jonghyun: yikes he really sucks at this

taemin: ^^

kibum: shut the fuck up

taemin: language

jonghyun: ^^

kibum: oh my god, i can't handle this

kibum: I need a vacation from your crusty asses

jinki: MINHO IM SORDY

jinki: **sorry

jinki: YOURE THE MANLIEST MAN OUT THERE

jinki: IM SORRY FOR EVER QUESTIONIH YOU

jinki: **questioning

jinki: I UNDERSTAND IF YOU HATE ME

minho: hyung

jinki: AND I UNDERSTAND IF YOU WANT TO MOVE OUT OF THE DORM AND LEAVE

minho: hyung stop its okay

jinki: AND ITS OKAY IF YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE MY FACE EVER AGAIN

minho: HYUNGG ITS OKAY I FORGIVE YOU

minho: it's all good my dude

minho: i was just fucking with yall ;)

jinki: oh

jonghyun:

kibum: oh my fucking god the amount of done i am rn is unbelievably high

jinki: that's okay

jinki: i mean, who are we without jokes?? hahaha..,,,,.

jinki: you keep doing that :))!!1!!

_jinki left the chat_

jonghyun: LMAO YOU FUCKED UP NOW

taemin: YOUR TURN, MANGO MAN

minho: fuck

kibum: bye fuck you guys


	3. trois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't ask

_jinki, jonghyun, kibum, minho, and taemin are online_

minho: does anyone have a fan

minho: it's fucking hot

jonghyun: like me

kibum: sweetheart, no

taemin: anyways im currently dying

kibum: finally

jonghyun: about time

jinki: can i plan the funeral??

taemin: you all are so mean to me

taemin: but it's hotter than the deepest depths of hell rn over here

kibum: i wonder why

jonghyun: we should go to the pool!!! that would be fun

minho: i dunno about you gayhyun but my body is not pool ready

jinki: gayhyun

jonghyun: wtf are you talking about you've got the best body here!!!

jonghyun: it's sexy ;;;;)))

kibum: taemin you owe me $10

minho: whatever your ideas suck ass no offense

jonghyun: you bet they do ;;;;))

taemin: I AM GOING TO THROW UP

jinki: not on my carpet

kibum: im going out yall want anything??

taemin: a knife so i can murder jonghyun

jonghyun: and then what

jinki: STRAWBERRY MILK please buy berry milk please im beggign

minho: ropes

kibum: .... ok

taemin: do I really need to kinkshame minho now too

jonghyun: buy me some new group mates

kibum: anything else?

jinki: how about some tickets to hell

kibum: honey we're already there

jonghyun: buy condoms too!!!!

_kibum has left the chat_


	4. quatre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize I know fathers day was a while back but some of yall are nasty so

_jinki, jonghyun, kibum, minho, and taemin are online_

jonghyun: it's fathers day!!!!!

jonghyun: I miss my family :,(

kibum: don't we all

minho: you know i was looking on our fan board and there was some weird stuff there

kibum: i don't want to know

minho: "happy father's day jonghyun ur daddy asf"

jonghyun: ooh ;;;DD

taemin: im going to go jump off a cliff

jinki: jjong you're a father???? since when???

minho: how cliché he doesn't know what it means who would have guessed

taemin: kibum-hyung you tell him

kibum: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME

jinki: tell me what??? jonghyun what's the meaning of this???? you're only 26 you're far too young to be raising a child!!!

kibum: hyung it's a meme ok when these people like us a whole lot,,I guess,,,they call us daddy??? fuck I actually don't know??? it's kinda nasty????

taemin: something like that

jonghyun: lmaoooooo hyung no im not a father chill

jinki: oohhh i see

jinki: well I like you guys a lot bc you're my group mates so would I call you guys "daddy"????

minho: NO

minho: FUCK NO

kibum: please dont

jinki: ok :((

jinki: OH FUCK I JUST LOOKED IT UP

jinki: SKDJROFKFKFKF W HY

jonghyun: im laughing

jinki: HOW COME TAEMIN KNEW BUT I DIDNT??

taemin: it's called being cool hyung, something none of you would know about B))))

kibum: shut up ur 12

jinki: YOU ALL NEED JESUS

minho: anyways

jonghyun: it's not my fault if i,,,,,arouse people.,,,

jinki: AHJDJDDKKD SHUT RHE FUCK

minho: i am going to cry


	5. cinq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOREVER IM A HORRIBLE PERSON

_jinki, jonghyun, kibum, minho, and taemin are online_

jonghyun: TAEM

taemin: oui

jonghyun: YOUR JAPANESE DEBUT

jonghyun: YOUVE DESTROYED ME

jonghyun: I LOVE YOU

taemin: thank you I'm glad you appreciate it!!!!!!!

jinki: you looked like you were from an anime

minho: some of that fuckin naruto shit

jinki: that was nothing like naruto, you know nothing about anime u fake

minho: ok weeb

kibum: taeminnie im so proud of you!!!

taemin: THANK YOU HYUNG IM GLAD SOMEBODY APPRECIATES MY ARTISTIC TALENT AND INSIGHT

jonghyun: i appreciate it too :((

taemin: yea but you took cocktail and put it on your own album

jonghyun: YOU REJECTED IT

jonghyun: TWICE

taemin: BC I WAS PLANNING TO PUT IT ON THE JAPANESE ALBUM

jonghyun: SURE SWEATY

jinki: MINHO YOU NEED TO EDUCATE YOURSELF ON ANIME

minho: uh

jinki: COME TO MY CHAMBERS

kibum: do you realize how sexual that sounds hyung

jinki: ENTER MY CORRIDORS MINHO AND WE SHALL INDULGE IN THE WORLD OF JAPANESE ANIMATION

taemin: please jongbitch cocktail would've sounded way better in japanese

taemin: and its better suited for my voice

jonghyun: BINCH DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE RIGHT NOW

minho: jinki hyung i really don't want to watch anime right now

taemin: COCKTAIL IS FOR TAEMIN NOT JONGHYUN

jinki: please come here i accidentally started watching this horror anime and im scared please get in here there's blood and scary naked ladies

minho: fine

jonghyun: BITCH YOUR MAKNAE ASS COULDNT HANDLE THE VOCAL TALENT NEEDED TO EXECUTE THAT SONG TO THE UTMOST PERFECTION LIKE I DID

taemin: wHAT WAS THAT HOE

taemin: GET OVER HERE AND FIGHT ME IRL

jonghyun: FINE YOU SOGGY GASLAMP

_jonghyun and taemin are offline_

kibum: you are all dead to me


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from when sm went to hawaii (but we found out shinee didnt actually go THE SALT)

_jinki, jonghyun, kibum, minho, and taemin are online._

jonghyun: hey boyzz are you ready to go to hawaii????

minho: I PACKED SO MUCH SHIT

minho: IT'S FYCJKING LIT

kibum: did you really just write boys with a z

jonghyun: it's hip these days

taemin: does anyone know where the sunscreen is???

kibum: don't worry bb i got ur sunscreen

taemin: thanks mom :')

kibum: i told you not to call me mom you little shit

taemin: sorry hyung

minho: GUYS GUYS GYUS

minho: CAN WE GO SURFING

minho: OR LIKE

minho: JUMP INTO A VOLCANO

kibum: i think you're taking your title of flaming charisma too literally

taemin: DIBIDIBIDIS

jonghyun: ILL GO WITH YOU BABY MINHO

taemin: geez hyung if minho jumped off a cliff would you too??

minho: of course he would

jonghyun: that's literally what we're gonna do in hawaii leave us alone maknae

taemin: you are all so mean to me :(

kibum: anyways hoes im gonna need yall to lend me space in your suitcases for clothes n extra phone chargers

kibum: taem you're my photographer again

kibum: im gonna become the king of aesthetic

taemin: what if I don't wANT to be your photographer???? >>>:(((

kibum: you're gonna do it whether you like it or not hoe

taemin: ok

minho: HYUNG HYUNG WE SHOULD WEAR COUPLE SHIRTS WHEN WE JUMP IN THE VOLCANO!!!

jonghyun: im legit tearing up babe you're so thoughtful of course we will :',,)

minho: YESSSS

taemin: you are all so gay

jonghyun: you're one to talk gaymin

taemin: i can't deal with this bye you are all so ugly

_taemin is offline_

kibum: finally

kibum: anyways I gotta go sleep later assholes

_kibum is offline_

jonghyun: minho I love you

minho: I love you more

jonghyun: :,,,,,,)))))

minho: ;;) <3<3<3

_minho and jonghyun are offline_

jinki: WAIT DONT LEAVE ME I LOVE YOU ALL

jinki: YOU ARE ALL THE REASON I LIVE

jinki: ok this is fine. i ain't mad

jinki: ..,,.i thot at least jonghyun loved me this is so sad

jinki: im leaving the group

_jonghyun is online_

jonghyun: HYUNG I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MINHO

jinki: <3

_minho is online_

minho: BINTCH WHAT DID YOU SAY

jonghyun: imsorry

_kibum is online_

kibum: if you all don't go to bed right now I swear I won't pack any sunscreen and watch all of you burn

jonghyun: sorry

minho: sorry

jinki: sorry

kibum: i swear yall are five sometimes

_jinki, jonghyun, kibum, and minho are offline._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meanwhile taem was jerkin it


	7. sept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i suck @ updating but 1of1 era was a gift so was 1and1 era i lovw my ults

jinki, jonghyun, kibum, minho, and taemin are online

jinki: guys i have something to tell you

jonghyun: you're gay

kibum: you're finally getting a solo album

taemin: you're gay AND you're getting a solo album

minho: congrats hyung!!!!!!!

jinki: NO fuck let me speak nasties

jinki: i just talked to our manager

jinki: we're disbanding :(

jonghyun: .

taemin: oh

kibum: what the fuck why???

jinki: HAHAHA JK!!! october fools!!!!!!!!

taemin: uh

jonghyun: what

minho: hyung its april fools.,,,,not october

jinki: what

kibum: im yodeling

taemin: why the fuck would it be october fools im crygni

jinki: no of course it's october fools why would it be in april????

minho: why would it be in october???

jinki: what are you talking about???

kibum: you all are fucking idiots

jinki: wait what why is it in april?? im so confused :..(

taemin: its something to do with history?? don't ask

jinki: aw rly :(

jinki: i gotta wait 6 months to make that joke again smh

jonghyun: but like . . . you just told it

jinki: you all will forget

minho: unlikely. i have the memory of an elephant, i remember everything. including my past life and the future.

taemin: you remember the future??

kibum: that doesn't make any sense

kibum: but hes my best friend so i support him

minho: aww thank u bff ily <3

jinki: i wish i had a bff

jonghyun: i'll be your bff!!

jinki: :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i <3 gaynee


End file.
